.h.a.n.g.i.n.g.
do yu know what that feeeeeLs like? its horid. its psychological. its physical. its unexplainable.
its me.. rite now.
ran outta money over the weekend and havent been able to buy any pot. so here i am .. hanging for a pipe.
started work this morning.. probably best i didnt get a mull last nite bcos i reckon i would have done my head in too far today wit work. but it went awesomely. AND im getting paid tmrw so i'm sweet wit drugs for a while when tmrw comes.
mum sent me to the visy centre a few weeks back to see a drug and alcohol councilor who i'll call Miss.DNA. Miss.DNA thinks its in my best interest for me to check into detox. but i really dont need it. told her * though, and so she knows. ahh.. hard decisions filled with regret.
was d.c from the net a little while back and *10#'d it to only call the missed call back. a lady answered, friendly, i explained that i recieved a missed call on my home fone about 10 mins prior and she directed me onto her husband who turns out is a drug and alcohol councilor my mother was trying to get into contact with through a 'mutual friend' (gee i wonder who eh??) had a bit of a chat, seems like an awesome guy.. extrememly understand etc. he asked for me to continue seeing someone, told me that i sound like i have a bit of control and that it seems like im okay with it all and not struggling too much but its my mum that needs to understand and get thru shit.... i dunno. i guess she'll talk to him and she'll get the news.. yada yada
kel mite be coming up this way tonite... sick, have a smoke mebe.. even sicker.
--
aches.sweats.mood.restless.agitated
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i need to call zach so he can cut my hair... maybe soon? saw him on the train a little while ago when i was with iain and he's workin on chaple.st.. sick eh.
he's got crazy hair, showed me some of his model photos... HOT! its hot. yu should see it.
this summer i'm going all black again, instead of the black n white/blonde shit.. black hair and tanned.. thats wot im goin for. see if i do it.
---
should be getting this crazy new fone on friday too! its so hot. cant wait.
crossing fingers that everything works out okay in the next few weeks and nothing TERRIBLE or even BAD happens.. i want STRESS FREE-ness forever.. but if i can just have the next few weeks i'll be grateful. i probably wont be actually.. not really in my nature.. well it is.. but bcos of drugs etc i.. well alot comes into.
anyway.. im only writing shit all now soo byeee byeee
jX. keep smiling
7:01 a.m. - 2005-09-14
Recent entries:
2 whole decades! - 2022-08-162 whole decades!
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